Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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