btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize