I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
