i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
