after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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