you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
