Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
