and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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