I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
