Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
