i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
