My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
