so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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