Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
