he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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