Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
