when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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