Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
