So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
