We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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