Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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