are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
