I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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