i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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