I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
