I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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