Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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