Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
