Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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