My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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