Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
