Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
