And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
