Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
