he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
