You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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