What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
