so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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