what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
