Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
