can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You can't motorboat a personality
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
