dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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