He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
