Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
