i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Houston, we have a blender
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
