You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
whose parrot is this?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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