I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
