think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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