i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
ttyl tear gas
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
