so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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