Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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