Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
kristin has been a bad kristin
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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