I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
