He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
