Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
