I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
