Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
