I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
