then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize