He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
