so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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