on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
