I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
