hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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